The
priest's starkly bleak and violently humorless abode is a grayscale of flighty
neurosis. The masculine dread is potent with unsteady failure, lifeless. Blood
evaporates slowly. Between the cold, stonewalls, a claustral pressure moves
closer and closer. I turn a bend to an outside court.
With
video camera in hand, I serendipitously find a friend's father succumbing to a
filthy heroin addiction. I video him shooting up and turning pale, with fangs
as bloody and lifeless as a vampire's.
In a
kitchenette of sorts, a family sits around the table. The small home now mixes
in an understated blur of unspoken silence. There is an inhumane heart, stifled
and drowned, now turned to meat in our soup bowls, its former life surrounds us
quietly.
With a forgiving imagination, I remember a small kibbutz home that I once visited. The kitchen table is cornered in a lonely room. The family is missing the father. I am seated without thought to the discomfort at knowing his whereabouts. He huddles nearby, lowered outside into the dark corners of our collective, impoverished will.
In the
night, my room is ambushed by his figure, cloaked in staunch black robe. There
is an air of over-religious prayer turned to a nightmarish cursing. He raises a
black knife into the air above me. Motionless, I receive a monstrous gash
beside my bellybutton. I howl and receive two more along my side and below my
left shoulder. Blood streams mercilessly down my side.
A gun is
raised to my shoulder, and I receive a fixing blow below my right shoulder.
Nearly inert, my mind turns to shade, yet my adrenaline picks me up with full
lungs, I worry for my wife, now mere animal and sister of humanity, to be
slaughtered by the tortured weakness of an insane mind frothing at the brim of
his asylum grave. This house of fleshless waste enslaves me to a pain unknown.
I feel life struggling to stand with the rhythmic plan of my heartbeat, calling
me to go forth. The beat is ever important as never before; if I falter I could
miss a step and fall into the void of the stale, rock floor.
I
finally find my wife, covered in the ash of wood burnt to its lowest ember,
cursing through a throat densely saturated with blood overfull with pain. There
is a spark of wonder at our meeting. “How are we still alive?” I ask her
gently, mutually irate.
I am
forced, embedded in this sick house, to confront the murderous wraith,
balancing life and death on the numb foresight of his insidious night killings.
I quickly examine our wounds, and though we are in critical condition, with
flesh flayed visibly in touch with our vitals, a swarm of inner heat beckons us
to kill the blind culprit. As from a sacrificial muse, I am sent forth into the
blackest corner of the most lightless room to fulfill my fear's latent travails
over my bloody path. Fated, I walk inside the heavy wooden doorway to flash an
upraised knife, buckling down over loosened sinew and the butchered meat of
such trivial nightmarish greed. I imagine my blood fall. In distress, shadow-cast
over my would-be murderer, I paint the stone floor with our common need to overcome
this body of suffering. Locked in deathless love, I flee together with my
sister of humanity.
(C) Rusty Kjarvik
1 comment:
...a fine addition to The Vanishing Light: Dark Tales.
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